tonyzaret:

Thinking of starting another account about business called Business, here are some Posts!

bowserwife:

Going to bed with a sleepy girl is so dangerous bc you will wake up and she’ll still be asleep and you’re like ahhh she looks so pretty I can stay here a few more minutes and then she opens her gorgeous eyes that sparkle in the morning sunlight and looks at you and says “good morning” in the sweetest little voice you’ve ever heard and snuggles up on your chest and then you’re TRAPPED forever

guooey:

guooey:

Puppies getting warm and toasty by the fire, ok?

KITTIES SLAPPING AND HITTING BY THE FIRE

arcaniumagi2:

explorerrowan:

busket:

lovely-v:

Every time Sean Astin makes a statement on whether or not Sam and Frodo were indeed gay for each other in lord of the rings he’s always like “well we have to acknowledge that attitudes around sexuality have changed dramatically over the past several decades and since authorial intent is only up to speculation, the story is open to multiple readings, some of which might have different significances for different groups of people also they kiss on the lips because I said so”

at the rose city comic con panel this month a fan asked them (sean and elijah) if sam and frodo were in love and they said

Sean: …..yes. absolutely

Elijah: 100 percent.

Sean: dont tell rosie

Rosie: “This is my husband Sam, and that’s his husband, Frodo. Frodo is my husband-in-law. I’m not into him, he’s he’s a bit too ‘elfy’ for my taste, but Sam likes him, and that’s fine with me. As far as I know, Frodo can’t give Sam children, but Frodo looks after ours all the same, so I don’t mind sharing Sam if it means another pair of eyes on the wee ones. In all honesty, our family tree is right simple compared to some hobbits. Yes, I’m referrin’ to you Lobelia, over there pretendin’ you ain’t eavesdroppin’. Still bitter you ain’t got either of my boys or their house, eh?”

a-very-fond-farewell:

squidwujun:

siegesquirrel42:

gemstone-gynoid:

I heard reference to something about how all anime are required to have good looking cabbage because of That One Time. So simply looking up “anime cabbage” I found the source.

Some harem anime way back in the day had an episode where the characters cooked, and they animated cabbage so terribly like this it left a bad mark on the anime community forever. Apparently this is part of the reason why all food usually looks good in anime, even moreso than the regular show sometimes. With cabbage being especially well drawn.

A complaint, apparently in a paper.

The first show when released internationally was reanimated in this part.

And high quality or low quality cabbage is sometimes referenced.

I learned of this because the most recent Hologra episode has noel eating cabbage, tearing apart a fine quality cabbage into two low poly halves.

i love learning about other cultures’ memes, especially like this

quietdoppelganger:

karma-crystal:

taintmotel:

This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏
Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏?
For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅‍♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME.
Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨‍✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨.

The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while

doc-cocker:

prokopetz:

“Isn’t it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal” I mean, there’s a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn’t have enough poison in it.

Story time!

A friend decided at the start of the first lockdown to learn how to bake. More precisely, they wanted to make a really really good brownie.

So they started off by going and buying the most expensive chocolate they could find, which turned out to be the 90% cocoa solids stuff.

Melted down a bunch of those bars, added flour eggs butter - and more cocoa.

Now, the chemical in chocolate which is poisonous to dogs (and cats!) is called ‘theobromine’. It’s a stimulant, like caffeine.

What a lot of people don’t know is that theobromine is also poisonous to humans. Less poisonous, like so much less that you’d have to eat a silly quantity of chocolate to know about it.

Unless, that is, you are my friend - who sat and ate most of this tray of brownies, made from extremely pure chocolate.

I’d been getting little updates all day because I’m a keen baker. 'going to make brownies!’ 'bought the ingredients!’ 'have a picture of the finished product ’ kinda thing.

Then nothing for two hours.

Then a series of messages talking about nausea - yeah mate, you just ate like 8 brownies to yourself.

But then increasing panic, severe headache, sweating, shakes, vomiting. They said they think they must have baked them wrong, so I got them to give me a blow-by-blow on how they made it, check everything was in date etc - nothing that would cause this reaction.

Then, they remarked that the brownies hadn’t even tasted all that good, and were really quite bitter and not sweet enough. Plus, to add insult to injury, they’d cost like 30 quid to make!

So I said wait, how in hell did you spend 30 pounds on goddamn brownies? 'oh, I just bought the most expensive chocolate I could find’

Daft twat sat and ate their way through about 2500mg of theobromine in one sitting. Nowhere near enough to kill (about 70g), but - as we found out - enough to make you violently violently ill (especially if you’re already on several cups of coffee and your regular amphetamine derivative ADHD medication - a goddamn appetite suppressant - like my mate).

Nobody needs to worry about theobromine poisoning in humans. You’d literally have to ignore the fact that pure chocolate is incredibly expensive, that it’s disgustingly bitter, that you’re eating enough baked goods to make you ill *anyway*.

Nobody apart from my friend, whom I love, but should not be allowed to bake.

should-be-sleeping:

starlightomatic:

i-aint-even-bovvered:

should-be-sleeping:

should-be-sleeping:

should-be-sleeping:

should-be-sleeping:

should-be-sleeping:

should-be-sleeping:

should-be-sleeping:

should-be-sleeping:

Reading reviews for havdalah candles written by unsuspecting Christian housewives who bought them to use for dinner candles is my new passion. I’ll be laughing for an eternity.

😂

Imagine letting a candle burn that looks like this once lit:

For an hour.

Dude, get the wine!

Different havdalah candle, same guy.

Pls…

For my goyische followers: Havdalah is a service to mark the end of shabbat and the beginning of the week. The flame is big so that everyone at the service can see it. You also only have it lit for a few minutes before extinguishing it (traditionally in wine). They are not table candles. My guess is that these people bought them because they’re pretty and braided without knowing or caring what they’re used for.

For my Jewish followers: the goyim are at it again.

It needs to be multiple wicks, and I think a tall flame is just what happens in that situation

taraljc:

dannnnnnnnnnnnex:

inkvoices:

lightningladybug:

inkvoices:

inkvoices:

charlataninred:

blitzlowin:

eater-of-hopes-and-dreams:

meraarts:

charlataninred:

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

1. The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)
2. The Monster of Sentan
3. The Witch’s Cat
4. Raise Both Children
   
5. Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)
   
6. Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)
   
7. My Arch Nemesis Cynthia
8. Pirates and Mermaid
9. Eindred and the Witch
10. The Demon King
11. The Cornerwitch
12. Grandmother Beetroot
13. Apocalypse Daycare Worker
14. Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon
15. New Year Saga
    
16. A Story About Changelings
17. Ranger in the King’s Forest
18. The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit
19. Goblin Men (Canines)
    

I am in love with you /p

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

The Supervillain Wrangler definitely needs to be on this list.

neatotito: